Emotional IQ


1. Write down what kind of feelings, emotions, and states you experienced during the day.

2. Write down what emotions your family and friends experienced during the day.

3. Choose one emotion. Observe how the intensity of this emotion changes during the day and through the whole week. Draw a diagram charting the changes.

4. Achieve maximal differentiation. What is the emotion connected with in the outside world? If it’s an object, then try and determine which of its properties intensify the emotion. If it’s a situation, what aspects of it affect you most?

5. Choose one emotion to observe in other people. Write down what gave rise to the emotion. Guess what detail or aspect of the situation intensifies this emotion in your subject? Check to see if you guessed correctly by asking a follow-up question.

6. Ask your family and friends to observe your body language and intonation and to tell you what emotion they see. Which of your inner sensations correspond to their observations?

7. Run this experiment: while talking to someone try mimicking their body language and then ask yourself what emotion you’re feeling.

8. Imagine what you would do or say to an object (or subject) that causes an emotional reaction in you? Is it a primary need or a habit? How can you satisfy this need in your everyday life? What other ways exist for dealing with your reaction?

9. What emotions are caused by specific needs in other people? Check if you’re correct and ask them about it.

10. Choose one emotion. Take a sheet of paper and divide it in half. Write down what intensifies this emotion in you on one half of the paper and write down what weakens this emotion in you on the other half. Imagine what you wrote about on the first half for a few minutes. Note the minimal change in the emotional expression. Then imagine what you wrote about on the other half for a few minutes. Again, note the minimal change in the emotional expression. Do this exercise regularly for a certain period of time.

11. Observe the same object (or subject). Find traits or characteristics in it that make you feel a certain emotion. Focus your attention on these characteristics for the next few minutes. Note the minimal changes in your emotional state. Then find other characteristics in the same object. Focus your attention on them for a few minutes. Note the minimal changes in your emotional state.

12. What are you focusing your attention on in your everyday life? Change your focus and intensify or weaken every emotion that you feel.

13. Note similarities and differences between you and your family’s and friends’ emotional reactions. Make a list for every emotion: joy for me is …, joy for my friend is …

14. Choose one emotion. Learn a list of pantomime (mimicry) expressions for this emotion. Try to notice details in the mimicry of the emotion and not just the general emotional impression. In doing this you will be able to distinguish between mixed and hidden emotions.